Four Tasks to Complete Before College
Maybe I’m not qualified to tell others four things I think they should do before they attend college, since I’m an incoming freshman, but these tasks can’t hurt to do anyway. Here are four tasks to complete before college begins.
1) Learn your homophones.
In reality, this task should have been completed years ago. You can vote, buy cigarettes and attend a dentist appointment alone; you should know the difference between your and you’re. Learn your goddamn homophones.
2) Read To Kill a Mockingbird
I read this in my freshman year of high school, and although I did not completely understand the profundity, the book represented the beginning of my comprehension of important issues and how classical literature could help me understand them. Whether or not you like to read, or are an English major, everyone should read To Kill A Mockingbird at some point in their lifetime.
3) Learn to Use Chopsticks
To follow the stereotype of a broke college student, you will most likely eat several packets of Ramen noodles in school. We might as well accept this reality and accommodate the nightly habit. Instead of eating Ramen with a fork, learn to eat with chopsticks and you’ll instantly feel more elegant, despite the cheap, salty, slimy food in your cup. You can practice this skill by eating popcorn, and later upgrade to other foods.
4) Thank at least one high school teacher.
These teachers put up with our shitty attitudes for four years, and then we have the nerve to ask them for flattering letters of recommendation. At the very least, we can offer verbal gratitude for their patience and support during a complicated stage of our lives. Thank a teacher for helping you figure out the derivative of that one complicated math problem, or for helping you decide which college to attend.